Writing Killer Headlines: Top 30 Viagra SPAM Email Subject Lines

4 Jul

Are your ad pitches a bit outdated? Can’t think of a new angle to describe the product you’re selling? Then learn from the pros! Take a look at what kind of one-liners and which selling techniques are being used by marketers, who harass millions of people every single day with their commercial messages, and who even try to lure women into taking a look at their, to penis enlargement pills dedicated, websites.

This is a selection of the 30 most creative (or weird) email subject lines used by Viagra spammers (well, at least in my inbox).

Try to sell by using fear:

– A man with a small penis is not a 100% man.

– All jokes aside, yeah you do got a tiny cock!

– Will she wait or has she found a bigger dick already?

– If you can cover your penis with your thumb…

– She might stay with you if your dick gets bigger.

Try to sell by using envy or desire:

– The reflection of your size will stay forever in her eyes.

– Bigger pen!s gives you a bunch of benefits!

– The most defiant fillies will strive for riding your new big Italian stallion.

– I have girls that ring me for sex now, its amazing!

– A big penis after a small one feels like the sun after rain.

– Make an elephant out of your ant.

– Never be limp again, make your cock rock solid!

Try to sell by using confusing language

– May i ask why you’re so unhappy with your d!c’k?

– Specify How Much You Want Your p3N!ss to Grow

– Your new s’e_xual world is waiting for its leader.

Try to sell by using other techniques

– Well done; you’ve just found the best kept secret to enlarge your penis!

– Yes it gets big, yes it gets strong, yes you can do it.

– Go to the disco and let your love stick glow!

– A real man should have a real penis. Here it is!

– Bigger pen!s stimulates more nerve endings in female vagina.

And the top 10:

10. 21st century is the century for big penises.
Ok, so you’re just advising me to keep up with the modern trends?

9. Prove your manliness! Take ÜberDik and be a man!
I have to give this company some credits for that brilliantly selected brand name…

8. Have you ever heard this, “Gush! Your penis is so small!”?
Ehm… No?

7. Try it now and shock all your friends with your tool.
I guess just showing my tool is already enough to shock them…

6. Nothing can seduce women faster than a big penis.
Tried this in a night club. Didn’t work…

5. 25% discount on your penis!
Something like buy 4 extra Inches and only pay for 3?

4. Satisfy all big cock lovers with Penis Enlarge Patch.
There’s a patch for it?!? It’s like Windows Vista!

3. Be proud to change your underwear on public.
Isn’t that kind of illegal?

2. Does your Mr. Winkie need upgrading? Our offer will interest you.
Mr. Winkie 2.1 Beta. It already sounds interesting, what’s the offer?

1. Men with big penises go to heaven!
Nearly made me buy that blue crap. Nearly…

I’m pretty sure that your SPAM-filter blocks even better viagra subject lines on a daily basis, so feel free to share your favorite viagra headlines.

21 Responses to “Writing Killer Headlines: Top 30 Viagra SPAM Email Subject Lines”

  1. Tom July 4, 2008 at 11:26 am #

    Awesome post! best post I’ve read in a while. Such a simple idea beautifully executed. Very funny but some great examples in there. Great stuff.

    Sphunnt here: http://sphinn.com/story/56939

  2. Marty July 4, 2008 at 11:41 am #

    Funny…BTW, last year I wrote a post on headline writing called “Free Sex, Viagra, Woman and Beer.” I’ve subsequently removed it because of the nasty traffic aimClear Blog got and the fact that we were flagged as “bad neighborhood” in a couple of services. Keep your eye on your analytics :).

  3. Glen Allsopp July 4, 2008 at 11:57 am #

    haha awesome stuff wiep, made my day

  4. wanttoberich.wordpress.com July 4, 2008 at 12:33 pm #

    ha ha …. I’ve received a couple of this mails

  5. Lyndon July 4, 2008 at 1:48 pm #

    Excellent stuff.

    It’s a good thing to think laterally with your headlines, look for inspiration in places where your competitors are not. I have been mining spam for ages, wordpress spam can be very useful too.

  6. Wiep July 4, 2008 at 1:54 pm #

    @Tom; Thanks for the compliments & for Sphinning as well :)

    @Lyndon; Never just hit the ‘delete all’ button of the stuff that gets blocked by Akismet ;)

  7. neyne July 4, 2008 at 2:18 pm #

    Excellent post Wiep! One helluva “out-of-the-box” thinking… or should i say “out of the bin” :)

  8. Wiep July 4, 2008 at 9:18 pm #

    @Marty; It’s not the first time that I’ve written about viagra, so I’m probably already in a bad neighborhood :). Another problem is that some genuine comments (like yours) get blocked by Akismet because of the viagra stuff…

    @Neyne; Thanks :)

  9. Bill Sebald July 5, 2008 at 5:09 pm #

    Haha. Nice. I’ve heard of using SPAM for search marketing keyword research, but now I have a template for snarky titles!

  10. pageoneresults July 5, 2008 at 10:42 pm #

    I love it when people have fun with this stuff.

    But wait, there’s more!

    “Submit Your Penis”

    Yes, I have actually been receiving some of those. Where would they like me to submit that? Is there going to be something reciprocal involved? I’m concerned. ;)

  11. Fank Paolino August 6, 2008 at 7:33 pm #

    I made a fun spam posting, about the guy who bought all the products sent to him in his spam mail.
    “Everyone is trying to get rid of Spam. Why? I love the stuff. I can’t get enough. I am a junk-mail junkie, and proud of it. For the last year, I have put my email address on any site that I can find. Life has never been better. Let me count the ways.”
    http://blog.maysoft.org/blog.nsf/d6plinks/JunkMailJunkie

  12. marg December 6, 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    Cool.
    It’s sad I can’t see stuff like that on my corlive.com account :)

  13. mike d March 20, 2009 at 1:34 pm #

    great stuff to kick start my creative side this AM

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